164. Build a Remarkable Culture in Your Organization with Dr. Randy Ross

💭 What does it take to build a remarkable culture in your organization?

Dr. Randy Ross brings with him a wealth of knowledge as an expert in organizational culture, relationships and the psychology behind building remarkable organizations.  Journey with us through the dynamics of cultivating strong relationships that transform employee motivation beyond discretionary effort.

Download this episode to grasp the importance of aligning personal and organizational values for inner and collective achievement, and why these traits are indispensable for today's leaders in building a remarkable culture in organizations.

Time Code:
0:00 Introduction
4:01 Creating Passionate and Engaged Workforce
13:05 Building Trust Through Accountability and Feedback
20:13 Exploring Axiology
31:56 Creating Value Through Alignment and Responsibility
37:25 The Power of Hope and Resilience
46:36 Empowerment, Mindset, and Co-Creation
55:43 Positive Interview Feedback and Gratitude

🌐 Connect with Dr. Randy:
• Website: https://drrandyross.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drrandyross/
• Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/dr_randyross/

📚 You can purchase Dr. Randy's books at Amazon:
• Remarkable!: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1636982549/
• Relationomics: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0801093937/
• Make Life Good: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1636983596/
• Fireproof Happiness: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1956649786/

Book Mentioned:
Man's Search for Meaning book by Viktor Frank

Business & Society with Senthil Nathan

Inspiring and thought-provoking conversations with eminent thinkers and...

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Chapters

• 0:02 Creating Passionate and Engaged Workforce
• 13:05 Building Trust Through Accountability and Feedback
• 17:14 [Ad] Business & Society with Senthil Nathan
• 18:02 (Cont.) Building Trust Through Accountability and Feedback
• 21:00 Exploring Axiology
• 27:26 [Ad] Virtual Rockstar
• 28:17 (Cont.) Exploring Axiology
• 33:33 Creating Value Through Alignment and Responsibility
• 39:02 The Power of Hope and Resilience
• 48:13 Empowerment, Mindset, and Co-Creation
• 57:20 Positive Interview Feedback and Gratitude

Transcript

Mick Spiers: 0:00

Well, happy people do better work. The key to happier people is to have better relationships. Relationships are the difference between whether someone has a good day at work or a bad day at work. In today's episode of The Leadership Project, we're sharing conversation I recently had with Dr. Randy Ross. Randy shares with us his insights on how to create a Remarkable Culture, where people shift from half to, to want to. There are many nuggets of gold in this discussion, including the surprising connection between lego, leadership and teamwork. Sit back, and enjoy the show. Hey, everyone, and welcome back to The Leadership Project. I'm greatly honored today to be joined by Dr. Randy Ross. Randy is a renowned public speaker and a author of three books that we'll unpack a little bit today. And he's the Founder and CEO of Remarkable. He is an expert in culture, in relationships and in the psychology of what it takes to make an amazing organization where people can do their very best work. His books, Remarkable is about to be released in its third edition. And by the time we get to air to be almost released. So watch out for the third edition of Remarkable. We'll talk about that through the show. He's got a book about Relationnomics. So talking about the impact of relationship in businesses, and then one around Fireproof Happiness. And I'm keen to dig into elements of each of those that firstly, Randy, I would love to know more about you. So please do say hello to our audience. And I'd love to know, What happened in your life that led you to found Remarkable in the first place?

Dr. Randy Ross: 1:46

Well, Mick, first, it's a delight to be with you, thanks for inviting me to have the opportunity, the privilege of sharing with your listening audience. My background comes out of the not for profit space, matter of fact, I spent the first 20 years of my career, in that realm and learned an awful lot about how to inspire and motivate people, obviously, in the not for profit realm. Monetary remuneration is not what stokes the fires of volunteers, you have to really lean into purpose and passion, and they have to be committed to the cause, so to speak, and then it transitioned over into the for profit realm. And I love what I do, because I get to work with a lot of organizations talking about on purpose for profit. And obviously, corporate entities, and regardless of their size, are interested in moving the ball down the field and making money. But in order to do that, effectively, I've helped them incorporate a lot of the lessons learned from my time in the not for profit world, and how to really leverage and lean into passion and purpose relationally rich environments, because it's no different there. If you're looking for discretionary effort from your people, it has to go beyond just what they're getting paid to do. Because you can rent their hands, you can you know, pay for access to their head. But when it comes to their heart, that's purely voluntary, and that's where elevated performance lives. And so it's very, very important to tap into that. And so that's my background, I'm bringing a lot of insight around the human dynamic of what makes work productive.

Mick Spiers: 3:17

I love this word, human dynamic. And I love this on purpose for profit. And what I'm hearing from you is, the human condition doesn't change compared to those two, there is a difference in the fact that someone's getting a salary. And that might drive some behavioral aspects. But tell me about the inner drive. What do you see is common between not for profit and very successful for profit organizations?

Dr. Randy Ross: 3:44

Well, let's talk about principles. We know, research is very clear that happy people do better work. It's just a very simple, universal axiom. And what makes people happy, are healthy relationships. Again, deeply richly underpinned by research, but happy people in relationships, they live longer, they're more productive. They're just generally overall much happier when relationships are intact. And so what we want to do is help people understand leaders, particularly how can they create a relationally rich environment in which people can thrive. And when you're talking about the frontline workforce, we know people don't quit their jobs or quit companies, they quit managers, they quit, because they don't feel a personal connection with the person that's directly superior to them in the organizational chart. And so we like to say that we raise up leaders we're following people who know how to breathe in an environment that inspires people to bring their best to work every day. And so what you have to do is you have to lean into those things beyond the paycheck that pull out that discretionary effort. I know Mick, you're very familiar with gallops research on global engagement. And we know that in any given time, only 30 to 35% of the workforce is what Gallup would describe is highly engaged, so, for a lot of people that's highly problematic for a lot of organizations, that's highly problematic when you say only a third of your workforce is passionate about what they do, because obviously, there's a lot left on the table when that's the case. But for me, that's exciting. Because if you think about it, the second tier of not engaged ranges between 49 and 52%, it doesn't mean that people don't show up, it's just, they aren't bringing any discretionary effort to work. There's no passion or excitement. They're just sort of trading their time for money. And so if you can get only 5 or 10%, of that middle category of not engaged, to move into that upper tier of highly engaged, actively engaged in, you wouldn't have to change anything else in the organization, except just an attitudinal shift, a change in perspective, and it would bring exponential returns to the organization. Well, that's the passion. That's the purpose. That's the relational sphere that we are talking about. And the simple term is culture. But it's a word that's bandied about freely, so freely, in fact, that it's lost a lot of its meaning. But if you truly understand human dynamics, if you truly understand the power of culture, and you truly understand what engages people, then leaders can be equipped with the skill set and the competencies to move an organization to a relationally rich environment.

Mick Spiers: 6:18

So, there's a lot that I'd like to unpack, Randy. I'd like to start with this untapped discretionary effort. And there's going to be a lot of people that think about discretionary effort as working extra hours. But that's not necessarily the case. Right? It's about they're there. But are they really there? Are they bringing their whole self their whole energy? They might still just work the normal hours. But are they throwing themselves into their work with passion, and this messy middle, this 40, 50% in the middle or not? They're not the actively disengaged, they're not the actively engaged, they're the ones that are coming. You said, you're renting their arms and legs, but are you really getting them excited. And we all know that when we're doing something that we enjoy, and we're excited about, we know know that we do a better job, whether it's, you know, if you like playing tennis, if you love tennis, today, it seems like the time just flies by because you're having a great time. So tell us more about how we tap into that discretionary effort.

Dr. Randy Ross: 7:15

Well, if you want to just simplify. It's a matter of moving people from half to, to want to. There are a lot of people you know, who go to work because they have to go to work, or they have to pay the bills, it's you know, it's what they fallen into. But when you get people to the point that they get to go to work, they want to go to work. And it's the difference between bouncing out of bed when the alarm goes off in the morning saying this is going to be a fantastic day. Thank you, God, I can't wait to get to work because I want to have a positive impact on somebody's life, as opposed to the other 70% of the population. When the alarm goes off, they roll over, they slap the alarm, they go, oh, good God, I can't believe I have to go to work today. And so it's a matter of just how they see the opportunity that's in front of them. And that's not just smoke and mirrors that's really tapping into passion. So one of the things that we talked about in relation omics is this whole idea of being able to create what we call value centricity. And value centricity is when my priorities and my passion my driving values align with the values of the organization, it creates this circuit through which energy can flow, and it supercharges the organization. But as that happens, as I'm contributing to something that I believe in, that's a cause bigger than myself, it also generates back for me, higher levels of energy, and engagement and passion. And so I think the key for leadership is how do they connect personal passion to corporate objectives? And that's how you move people from half to to want to.

Mick Spiers: 8:45

Yeah, I'm absolutely loving this, Randy. So this is the definition of leadership. In my mind, it's moving people from half to to want to, but they're doing it because they want to do it not because you told them to do it. I think that is amazing there. And there's three elements I'm picking up so far, Randy. So purpose and impact. We speak a lot about that on the show. And we might spend some time on it here as well. This relationally rich environment, that's the one I want to unpack in a moment. And then the values Centricity and whether we've got an alignment of values, which I think congruence in all of that is going to be really important. The second one we haven't spent as much time on the show talking about so these relationships in the work environment. You said before about, you know, people don't leave companies, they leave bad bosses. We all know that to be quite true, with some exceptions, but quite true. The other thing I'm going to say when someone has a bad day at work, they usually don't come home and talk about the work themselves. They talk about some jerk at work. There's something about the human dynamics, use your time that you use before. That's what comes home. Did you have a good day at work today, dear? The answer will be something about relationships probably won't actually be about the work itself. How does that sit with you?

Dr. Randy Ross: 10:00

Well, you're spot on, you're absolutely right. Because relationships are the foundation upon which everything else is built, we say that healthy relationships derive good business. And we define it. Let's go back to this whole idea of culture. For a working definition. From my perspective, culture is the collective expression of the values, the beliefs and the behaviors that individuals bring to the effort to the organizational perspective. And so the values, beliefs and behaviors, the behaviors manifest themselves in the depth of the relationships. And for us, we call it a remarkable culture. Remarkable means it's worth talking about, it impacts people in a positive way. And there's a trilogy of characteristics that we say describe a relationally rich environment. And that's a place where first people believe the best in each other, they want the best for each other, and then they expect the best from each other. So actually, believing the best in each other is about trust, wanting the best for each other, it's about connection and compassion. And then expecting the best from one another is about accountability. And a lot of organizations are great when it comes to holding people accountable. But the problem is, if trust and compassion are not there to precede the accountability, then oftentimes, what you do is you create a police state or you create rebellion in your people, because you're holding them accountable before they think you have their best interests at heart. And so that trilogy, I think, is very important to have in place for relationally healthy environment.

Mick Spiers: 11:34

That's really powerful, Randy. One of the things I like to do quite often is when I'm trying to process something impactful like that is I like to think about what the opposite looks like, and what the opposite feels like in this case, right? So when I hear you talk about they want to see the best in each other. Well, if we don't do that, what are we looking? In the other way, if we want the best for each other? What does it look like the opposite. And if we want the best from each other, this is where like you said, accountability goes out the door, trust goes out the door, I'm gonna say almost suspicion comes in. So people always second guessing that motive, or going oh, that Randy, he did that today, because they start second guessing someone else's assumptions or their motivations, they start making assumptions about each other. And if we just replace that, with those positive posturings wanting to see the best in each other, wanting the best for each other, wanting the best from each other, that's a powerful reframing right there. And like I said, this negative angle, if I reverse it, I see a toxic environment. If I embrace it, I see a very positive environment. How does that sit with your journey?

Dr. Randy Ross: 12:42

Think about it this way, wherever trust is foundational for all healthy relationships. It can't work side by side with someone you don't trust, it's hard to work for or with someone you don't trust. You can't be in a relationship or a marriage with someone you don't trust. It's just It's foundational for all healthy human relationships. And we know make that trust is the commodity of leadership. Because wherever trust is high, then resistance is low, and you can make change and progress, he can come very quickly. But wherever trust is low, then resistance is high. And change in progress comes very slowly, because people second guessed, they doubt they questioned leadership, all those kinds of things. So you're spot on. And I think that's the most important place that we have to start is on that trust level. So wherever a leader may be experiencing that friction, because friction is healthy, it rubs off the rough edges. But wherever there's severe resistance, people are digging in, they're not willing to move forward, they're questioning leadership, the first thing we have to do is call a timeout and figure out where do we lose trust. And we got to regain that trust. And then beyond that, that connection to the compassion, which ultimately leads to higher levels of performance, because people who know you believe the best in them and you want the best for them are much more willing to be coached up. And that began to see feedback and coaching become a healthy, ongoing dynamic within the life of the organization, which is critical for any organization to flourish and to grow.

Mick Spiers: 14:08

That's an important distinction that you're making there, Randy. So in high friction or high kind a organizational healthy friction or replace that word, healthy friction, high candor, that actually moves the organization forward, because you're having the conversations that need to be had when there's a lack of trust that leads to inaction, right, when someone goes, Oh, no, I'm not sure about this, that leads to a freezing action as opposed to a progressive action. So I think when we say trust, we're not talking about that you don't have those highly cancerous conversations about things that need to be discussed. But that trust element is there because people are willing to have those conversations and move forward whereas mistrust or lack of trust leads just people almost freezing the spot. How does that sit with you?

Dr. Randy Ross: 14:54

Well, again, it's well said Mick, in a we're on the same page because those times observe conversations, the accountability conversations, the friction works best in a high trust environment. But you can't create a high trust environment without those kinds of high candor conversations. And so I think a lot of people have this mistaken idea that high trust is created through friendliness and kindness. But it's not kind if someone is underperforming and you don't bring it to their attention. That's not kind what's kind is being forthright, bringing candor into the conversation, having those difficult coaching moments where you challenge people, but they're receptive to it, because they know, you believe in them, they know you have their back, they know you have their best interests at heart. Because you know, quite frankly, you've demonstrated it through your actions. And you've demonstrated confidence in them, so that you've built up enough trust that you can have those critical conversations when they're necessary. And that challenges people to grow. I know the best coaches I have ever had, from time to time were not friendly to me, because they were rough. And they got in my face, because they knew there was better within me. And they wanted to see me draw it out. And so they challenged me to play my a game to bring my a game to play above the rim because they knew I could, even when I didn't believe it myself. And so, you know, quite frankly, organizations that speak with candor and clarity, and conviction, even in those difficult coaching conversations. Those are the ones that garner the trust, they garner the respect, but it's not critical. It's always positive in terms of helping people grow.

Mick Spiers: 16:34

If we come back to the relationships, to me, It comes from a place of love. So these candor is directly challenging someone conversations, when done respectfully, of course, it shows that that person's love for you, and they care for you is greater than their fear of the conversation. And to me that does build trust, it goes, Oh, this person's got my back, not they're trying to attack me, they've got my back, they're trying to help me see a blind spot that I didn't see myself. And they're helping me be better, because they see something in me, they want something better for me, they want something better from me, like come back to your trilogy before. I think that's really, really powerful for us to always remember that feedback comes from a place of love, not from a place of attack.

Dr. Randy Ross: 17:53

And let's flip that, let's talk about it from the leaders standpoint. So you're absolutely right now from a leader standpoint, why should you have coaching or even corrective conversations, there's only one reason and that's not to vent, it's not to download your anger, it's not to drive results, the only reason you should have those coaching conversations is to help the other person grow. If there's any other reason that you're doing it, then you're probably off target, because the primary reason you're giving that feedback is to help them grow to your point, because you love them and you're demonstrating, I want to draw the best out of you, because I know this is best for you some best for me your best for the organization in maybe secondarily. But primarily, it's best for you.

Mick Spiers: 18:38

Because, I believe in you know, I think it's very powerful, Randy. And we do need to check our motivations. And sometimes we need to check what is going to serve us and what is going to serve them well at that moment. So that also means picking the right moment and picking what is going to be most impactful at that moment. So is it that I need to give you some feedback on this topic? Or do I let that one go for right now because I need to build your app on a different topic. So there's an element of intentionality that's coming in there as well. I want to come back to culture, you talk about an axiology of culture in remarkable tell us what that means.

Dr. Randy Ross: 19:12

So, axiology is a field of study that I I'm kind of a geek, and I love philosophy. And axiology is a strain of philosophy that is all about values, value constructs and value creation. And there's a lot of rhetoric in the marketplace about creating value, bringing value, adding value, but quite frankly, most people don't understand what that entails and how to do that. And so axiology is about defining and measuring good. In his essence, that's what it is. And so really, it's about helping people realize their full potential. It's about moving organizations toward good, it's about creating movements of good. That's what the principles of axiology espoused. And they're very powerful when it comes to applying those to any organization.

Mick Spiers: 19:59

So, I'm hearing here defining what good looks like, and I'm extrapolating here to go well, what does it take to move towards what could look like? Is this the concept?

Dr. Randy Ross: 20:08

It is. So, In most simple definition, good is having been created for a purpose you fulfill that purpose for which you were created. That's the measure of good are you fulfilling your potential? Now, Abraham Maslow taught us a long time ago with this hierarchy of needs, that self actualization right is the pinnacle of that pyramid. But it's interesting because the father of modern axiology Dr. Robert Hartman, challenged Abraham Maslow on that premise. They were actually good friends and they were having dinner together one night, and Robert Altman turned to a Maslow and he goes so a tell me about this pyramid this you know hierarchy of needs and he began to describe it and unpack it. Physiological needs safety and security, love and belonging, self esteem all the way to self actualization and Robert Harmon pause and go slowly make sure I get this straight. So let's say that I'm self actualized. That means I've reached my full potential. I become all that I was meant to be. And Hartley goes, that's I mean, Abraham Maslow said, Robert, you got it. That's it. And then Armand leaned across the table while they were sipping brandy, and he asked a question that sent Abraham Maslow into a tailspin. And he just simply asked, so what? So what if you've reached your full potential? So what if you're self actualized? What good have you done? What legacy? Have you left? What didn't? Have you made in the universe? What is your life been about? Have you just breathed our air and ravaged our resources and then left the planet no better than when you got here? Because come on a bit. Life wrapped up in itself makes a very small package. So you've reached your full potential, but what good have you done, man make it sent Abraham Maslow into a tailspin, and you can do your research and Google this if you like. But later in his life, he added three tiers. So Maslow's hierarchy of needs is not five tiers, it's eight. And between self esteem and self actualization, he added cognitive needs, and aesthetic needs. But more importantly, I think, above self actualization, he added a tear, and he call it self transcendence. And that's the whole essence of axiology. It's about creating good, it's about giving back to others, because it had a metaphysical spiritual connotation, but it was all about not just becoming the best you can be, which was self actualization. But what are you doing to give back to others? What are you doing to create good in the world? What movements of good what legacy Are you leaving behind? What do you want to be known for? And I think that's powerful if organizations can simply grasp the fact that they're not here to make money. That's not the purpose of business, the purpose of business is to radically impact the human condition for good. It's about what do we do to make life better. And here's what I know to be true that people will gladly pay full price for those things that they deem bring true value to life. And so it's a matter of creating value, creating movements to good doing good for those that you touch on daily basis. And that's the essence of axiology.

Mick Spiers: 23:06

It's beautiful. I love the way that you describe it as well, Randy. For me, it also goes back to purpose and impact, and how we impact other human beings on this planet. And then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy, though, because the more that we help other human beings, the more we feel good about ourselves, the more we feel good about the cells, the better we do our work, and now it becomes self propelling. So, yeah, the self actualization has never actually sat well with me, I can open it now. Because you've opened that door, that one never felt good that the elements around identity and feeling secure about who I am and what I do and who I serve, and what problem I help them solve. And all of those things make sense. But it wasn't all about me, it was actually all about others. Life is all about others.

Dr. Randy Ross: 23:52

That's right. And that's the basic premise of axiology. I mean, if you want to get into it, there are four basic principles of axiology. And those are creativity, positivity, sustainability, and responsibility. And creativity. The first principle just simply says that we're all designed to create value in life. That's what makes us feel good. That's what makes us feel worthwhile. This makes us feel productive. It's not a matter of self esteem. It's a matter of self worth, from the standpoint that self worth is derived from knowing that you've done good for others. That's where self worth comes from. This whole self esteem movement that we've created globally, where we prop people up, and we applaud them for having done nothing at all. It's hollow, because they know they haven't done anything worthwhile. We need to affirm self worth, which comes from doing good and creating value for other people, as you say.

Mick Spiers: 24:48

Yeah, love it. And this is where we end up with toxic positivity people get lost, because it doesn't feel right. Like when someone's getting a trophy for coming 27th in a race, you know that you didn't deserve it. And it's just, you know, it's incongruent. Egypt kind of doesn't feel right at all. And where was the value that was created now? Yeah, well done for participating world and for finishing all of that yet, not the issue, that when does toxic positivity actually become negative.

Dr. Randy Ross: 25:17

Alright. So, you just teed me up for the second principle. Can I speak to that for a while, please? So the second principle is positivity. But here's how it's defined. All the good things you want in life are a byproduct of creating good for other people. Think about it this way. What's the number one thing that most people want? I can tell you because I've done the research. It's hot. Be honest, people want to be happy. But think about all the things we do and all the gyrations we go through to be happy. You know, we think we found the right person that's going to make us happy. But before long that doesn't last right? Are we draw more from them, we take more from them to complete ourselves than we offer to them in relationships fall apart all the time, because we're disillusioned, because we thought that person was going to complete us. And we discover, No, we have to be a complete self first, and then bring that complete self to the table. But another thing is, we go out and we buy things because we think it's going to provide happiness that both that house that car or whatever, and that doesn't last either. It's all temporary. But John Templeton, a very wise man said this, he said happiness pursued eludes, but happiness given returns, what he was saying was, we're the happiest as human beings, when we are relationally, healthy, and we bring happiness to others. I know that's true for me. I mean, I'm the happiest as a husband, when my wife is happy. I'm the happiest as a parent, when my kids are happy. I'm the happiest as a leader, a team lead when my teams are happy. My happiness comes from being able to do things for others, that helped move their world in a more positive direction. And that's the only way we'll ever be able to find happiness is what Zig Ziglar used to say, you know, the great motivational writer and speaker, he would say, the fastest way to success is to make everyone around you successful. And that's the same principle of positivity, when we do good for others, that goodness, in turn will flow back to us. But if we try to do it for ourselves, it always falls hollow or falls flat.

Mick Spiers: 27:59

That's a really powerful takeaway there. And you're gonna remember that one for sure. So happiness pursued, eludes, and then happiness given returns? I think that's the answer now, but I want to come back to happiness. So we've done creativity, we've put on some positivity, tell us the third and fourth again.

Dr. Randy Ross: 28:16

Well, sustainability is the third one. And it just says, in order to continuously create value, leverage your passion and your strengths to solve problems. And I love this because there's a whole lot of talk in the marketplace about passion. And I think some of that, quite frankly, is misguided, you know, the statement has been made, pursue your passion, and the money will come, you know, do what you love, and the money will follow. That's in my world, psychologically. That's what we call a lie. Is just a lie.

Mick Spiers: 28:46

That's a technical term, right? A lie. Yeah.

Dr. Randy Ross: 28:50

Because, I mean, I often just and I say, I love to play golf. I love it. I love the blue sky. I love the green grass. I love the white ball. I love golf. But no one has ever offered to pay me to play. And there's a very good reason for that. Because I'm no good. I enjoy it. But I'm no good. I bring the comic relief, okay, to the force. And that's my role. So it's not just about passion, that's a part of it. It can't just be only what you love. The other part is strengths. And there's a lot in the market about strengths. Strengths, finders love, Marcus Buckingham a loved one Gallup has done I think we do need to lean into our strengths. But it's not just about what you do well, either. It's not just about what you love to do. And what you do well, you have to combine those two, with this intention in mind to solve problems. It's not about pursuing your passion, because you love it or pursuing your strengths, because you're good at it. It's about what problem do you see in the world that you can solve? And here's the thing, we shouldn't shy away from challenges or problems, that's when we should roll up our sleeves. And think of it this way, the bigger the problem you find and use your passion and your strengths to solve it, the greater value you create, the greater value you create, the more invaluable you become. And so sustainability says leverage passion and strengths. But the ultimate objective is that is to solve problems. So what problems can you solve? That's the principle of sustainability. And the principle of responsibility? The fourth one around out axiology is just that you have to take personal responsibility to move those things over which you have influence and control following. What part will you play? You're not responsible for all of it. And there's a lot of things outside of the realm of your own personal responsibility, things over which you have absolutely no control. But what can you focus on today? It's about personal empowerment, what do you have control over, that you can begin to advance improve upon and bring to the table because the idea is, we want to bring more to the table than we take away. If everybody brings more to the table than they take away. If they create more value than they take. At the end of the day, there will be a surplus on the table that then can be shared by everybody who will create that value. And that's the basic premise of value creation.

Mick Spiers: 31:01

All right, so I love it. So we've got creativity, positivity, sustainability and responsibility. My one curious question there is then what role does the congruence play to make sure that all four of those are rowing in the same direction for one of a better metaphor?

Dr. Randy Ross: 31:17

Yeah, that's all about alignment and It gets back to the value construct. So my values for me to be about passionate about giving myself to any cause or effort, it has to align with the bigger cause our value construct of the organization, if I find that I'm involved in an organization whose values are such that they challenge me to compromise my values, then that's not a good alignment, I have to be in congruence, there has to be this connectivity, or we call it a circuit, you know, circuitry through which energy can flow, think about an electrical circuit, there has to be this ability to move power through the lines of connectivity. And that that means that there has to be this congruence, there has to be this alignment, in order for things to work effectively. Because if I'm not in congruence with the values of the organization, to your point, is going to create stress, anxiety is going to cause me to feel like I'm compromising the very nature of who I am. And that cognitive dissonance never ever plays well, over the long haul. Matter of fact, that leads to a lack of productivity, it leads to broken relationships, that leads to a toxic environment and ultimately leads to physical distress and ailments that hinder work from moving forward in a positive way. So there's a lot of impact. When there's not congruence, there's not alignment.

Mick Spiers: 32:41

To me, I sum it up by saying incongruence just doesn't feel right. There's something you don't feel right about yourself, you don't feel right about what you're doing, you don't feel right about throwing yourself into things because something's just not there. And if you take time to stocktake, you can look at and go, Okay, what's missing here, what is misaligned in my life that's causing me to feel like this, which then brings me back to this word happiness. And I want to talk about fireproof happiness. Because a big theme of this whole interview so far, Randy has been a happy person is a productive person, and they're going to be better in relationships, they're going to be better at in the workplace. A lot of this pivots around this word happiness, what does it mean for you?

Dr. Randy Ross: 33:23

Well, happiness means that there is congruence. Happiness is directly interconnected with this concept of hope. And hope is a really interesting idea. Because if you ask people is hope necessary, they would say, Absolutely, it's fundamental to the human spirit, in order for us to be able to be energized and passionate about what we do. But if you ask people to define hope, it very quickly falls apart because very few people have a solid working definition of hope. But hope and happiness are intricately intertwined. But before we talk about what hope is, is talking about what it's not. His hope, is not just wishful thinking, is not a pollyanna attitude. It's not denial, and maybe make you've heard this, because this phrase has been bandied about quite abundantly. A hope is not a strategy. But I want to dispel that, because I would say this, to counter that, I would say hope is actually your best strategy. Or it's the most powerful strategy and I'm gonna say it like this. If you are the people that are around you involved in any endeavor, our hope less, what kind of success Do you think that endeavor is going to be able to garner it's not, if people are hopeless, then it's not going to work, you're not going to get there, people have to be infused with hope. So here's a working definition, how we define hope. Hope is a dynamic motivational system tied to inspirational goal setting a dynamic motivational system tied to inspirational goal setting. And what's fascinating is the principles that underlie are the beliefs that underlie hope, are very, very similar to the very same beliefs that drive axiology, which are positivity, responsibility, agility, and reality. Those four things positivity, responsibility, agility, and reality. Those are the four basic premises or beliefs, what we call the fundamental core beliefs of hope. And hope is what determines an organization or an individual's resilience, which in our day and age in our market, with all the challenges that we've been facing, over the last several years, from COVID, to political tension to economic distress to challenges for workers on every level, particularly those in responsible who for leadership, because they're being asked to do more with less this concept, this idea of resilience is profoundly impactful for organizations.

Mick Spiers: 35:45

I want to challenge you a little bit, Randy. Just knowing where some of those statements come from. I think this will build on each other. So yeah, hope is not a strategy. When people say that what they're really talking about is people that are sitting back and hoping for something but not taking action for it to occur. It's like in manifestation if you sit there dreaming all day, it doesn't actually happen. So what if we reframed it? Hope alone is not a strategy, but hope can drive performance can inspire performance can inspire results, but it's action that needs to fall. But how does that sit with you?

Dr. Randy Ross: 36:21

Well, so thank you. So let's go back to the definition of hope is a dynamic motivational system. Inspirational goal setting. So that's hope. I think a lot of people don't understand what hope actually is, because it's not, you know, we don't say hope, wish, pray, you're right, not passive. But if you understand what hope is, it is a powerful dynamic force. But it has to be timed inspirational goal setting, and we know that goal setting is not powerful, nor is it productive, if it's not marked by certain characteristics. And those characteristics, we've gone through countless seminars, he has gotta be smart, specific, measurable, attainable, you know, time bound. Those are the things that we say, mark, a smart goal, but I think it also has to be values based. And that's one of the principles that a lot of people miss when it comes to goal setting is that the goals are not value based. In other words, it's not just a matter of what you want to do. But who do you want to be? Who do you want to become goals can't just be about doing it has to be more about being and becoming, because our doing flows out of our being, it was going to last and be productive. And that's another part of the whole mix of axiology. And hope and they're intertwined together, because it's more about the character, the Constitution and the value construct that people bring. That's what affords them this opportunity to be resilient.

Unknown: 37:45

Yeah. Love it, Randy. And thanks for this clarification of the word hope. And I think that's probably where we do get lost, we have a narrow definition of what that means. So really good. We've spoken about some of the positive attributes of happiness. So far, we've spoken about happiness in the service of others. We've talked about hope, inspiring us through to happiness. I want to get dark here for a moment. What about the things that hold us back? The things that make us unhappy things like anxiety and fear and those kinds of things? What role do they play in cultivating a happy existence?

Dr. Randy Ross: 38:18

I think a lot of it. It's, unfortunately, it's an extremely powerful draw and pull that tendency toward fear, that tendency toward worry, it's part of human nature in this fight against loss of any kind. But here's what we have to understand is that I used to think about depression, depression can simply be defined as the absence of hope, or you ever thought about it that way. But depression is the absence of hope. And so if we think about anxiety, stress, and even suicidal ideation, the issue is not trying to eliminate the negative, but layering more of the positive. So the best way to combat depression is to elevate hope. Because hope and hopelessness are not on a continuum. It actually what it is, it's in a quadrant, and it's explained thoroughly in the book. But when you talk to someone who's down cast or downtrodden, they're having difficulty with anxiety, stress, or depression, the worst thing you try to do is talk them out of it by saying, Oh, it's not that bad, you know, because in their world, it is that bad. The best thing you can do is instill hope, because hope, mitigates and offsets any of the negative repercussions of hope, less Ness, and you can hole here's the interesting idea, you can hold hope and hopelessness at the same time. But the question is, do you have enough hope in your tank to offset the negativity of hopelessness, and so I'm always helping people try to find a different perspective on how to see the challenging things that come into their lives. Because a lot of times, what we have to do is reframe how we view reality. Because if we view reality in a different kind of light, then we can actually begin to see the good that can come out of it. So here's the question when something negative happens, or someone's struggling with fear, or anxiety, or let's just say they've had setbacks, or discouragements, or disillusionment, the question is not why is this happening? Or why is this happening to me? Here's the question I want you to ask is what I call the transformative question. Very simple. What does this now make possible? What does this now mean? Possible? So I lost those resources. I lost that account. This doesn't look good. Okay. So now you have factors you got to take into consideration. But now with this new construct, what does this now make possible and it takes your focus off of the problem, and begins to help you focus on the possibilities. And I think that's profound.

Mick Spiers: 40:42

So, let me share with you what I'm taking away from this. So it is one of the tricky things about the human condition is that our fear of loss is greater than their our appreciation of gain. It's a lot of what drives some of our behaviors, unfortunately, then I'm hearing this word responsibility, come back again, back to your four axes before and what can I do with where I am from where I am I stuck with what I've gotten with where I am. So what is in my control? what can I do? And what does this now make possible? And this is the reframing question, where we start seeing opportunity in that darkness where we go, okay, well, what can I do with what I've got with where I am? what does this now make possible? And it's this reframing instead of what can't I do? what can I do? how does that sit with you?

Dr. Randy Ross: 41:31

Absolutely. How are you summarize the extremely well, because that's the essence of what we're talking about. It's about personal empowerment, focusing on those things over which you do have control and moving them forward. So you no longer see yourself as a victim in any situation, or a victim even of circumstance. But you begin to see yourself as a person who's empowered with the resources that are necessary to bring positive influence and positive action.

Mick Spiers: 41:58

Yeah, love it Randy. So there's difference between a victim mindset and a create a mindset, a victim mindset, the world is happening to them, or create a mindset, you're gonna create your way in the world. And you're going to do what you can with where you are really loving it. How much of it is about the stories that we tell in our head, though, right? So a new talked before about hopelessness or learned helplessness, all of these things? But how much of it is that the stories that we tell ourselves, I'm going to build in relationships back again, now, if I walk around the world thinking, telling myself a story in my head that I can't do this, I'm hopeless. Why can't anything ever go right for me, and then two relationships are that Randy hates me. If I think that you hate me, every conversation that we ever have, I'm going to use confirmation bias to confirm to myself that you hate me. Right? So how much is it the story that we tell ourselves in the head and how we can maybe rewrite that story in a more positive and opportunistic way?

Dr. Randy Ross: 42:55

Well, it's very important. And you're absolutely right, because a lot of it is the story we tell ourselves. And so that's why in the book, I tried to break down and offer a lot of suggestions on how you can elevate your hope. And in the first one is hope requires a plan. So you have to set inspirational goals, we go into a great deal of unpacking that to help people tie their goals to solid values. But the second piece that's important is I encourage people to surround themselves with optimistic positive people. In other words, they need to do a relational inventory. You need to have people around you who are going to reinforce this idea that you can do this, you can make a positive change. It's all a matter of the community that you attend to attach yourself to. I call it the ethos of Legos, Legos, everybody knows what Legos are, you know, there's those brightly colored ubiquitous blocks. But the Legos were never meant to be isolated. As a matter of fact, you know, if you find a single Lego, at night in the dark in the carpet underfoot, you know, you're most likely to probably declare some profanity, because they're not meant to be found alone. They're meant to snap together. And as human beings, we were created for community we were created for healthy connections. And so we have to be connected with other people who help us to feel a part of something worthwhile, and who will build us up. I call we need more balcony, people in our lives, who are cheering us on, you know, to higher levels of playing performance, as opposed to balcony people who are drawing us down.

Mick Spiers: 44:26

I've never heard a Lego Philosophy before, but I instantly love it. So Legos are not supposed to be alone. They're meant to snap together and where Lego pieces in this world love it.

Dr. Randy Ross: 44:36

You like this, the word Lego? It's a Danish. Lego means play well together.

Mick Spiers: 44:43

On time. Okay. All right. You've just made my day. Randy. This one's gonna stick. I already had lots of takeaways from this interview around purpose and relationships and around happiness. Now I've got this play well together Lego, you're all Lego pieces. And there's so many things that unpack from it play well together. We're not meant to be alone. We're meant to snap together. But what's now unlocking in my brain, Randy is the thought of co creation, that a single Lego piece can't do anything. But a bunch of Lego pieces can co create something and bring something new into existence that's never existed before, but they did it together.

Dr. Randy Ross: 45:20

Absolutely.

Mick Spiers: 45:20

Wow, Okay. That's your takeaway right there. There were many others before this. But that's your final takeaway with today's interview. You're all lego pieces. play well together, snap together and you can co create something new love it. By Randy, this has been an amazing interview. I've thoroughly enjoyed this I feel richer for this conversation without any doubt. I'd like to now take us to our Rapid Round. These are the same four questions that we ask all of our guests. What's the one thing you know now that you wish you knew when you were 20?

Dr. Randy Ross: 45:50

Simple, the power of seeking feedback. When I was 20, I thought I knew everything, But here's the reality. What you know, is limited. What you don't know is unlimited. And we're often good at giving feedback. But now I know that if I had asked for feedback at a much earlier stage, and by the way, everybody's probably familiar with a 360 degree review. Here's a single question that can serve as your own personal four means 360 sit down with someone that you trust respect that no you will and ask him a single question. What is it like for you to be on the other side of me? What do I need to know that I don't know? What are the blind spots that I have that I don't see? How am I leaving a negative wake in the world? And I don't even know it. I asked my wife this question. early in our marriage, I said, Baby, what's it like to have me as a husband? And after about five minutes of information, she made a hard turn left. And the next three hours we talked about where I could grow. But here's the thing, Mick, that single question saved my marriage. And if I'd understood the power of feedback, and asking for feedback on a continuous basis, when I was younger, I'd be much further along.

Mick Spiers: 46:57

It's really powerful, Randy. And we generally know what it's like to experience others, but we don't often ask what is it like to experience me? That's a really good one. Thank you. What's your favorite book as an author yourself? What's your favorite book?

Dr. Randy Ross: 47:11

Well, I read a lot of philosophy, I read a lot of theology. So those books in that realm are very important to me. But I guess probably my all time favorite is Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, an Austrian Psychologist, and he writes about his experience having survived Nazi concentration camps, and coming out on the other side with a depth of character and a message that's transformative.

Mick Spiers: 47:38

Yeah, very powerful. Thank you for sharing that. What's your favorite quote?

Dr. Randy Ross: 47:42

Okay, so many. But one that's kind of whimsical that I love. Because the book that we're talking about is entitled, Remarkable. The name of our organization is Remarkable. And so Robert Stevens, the founder of Geek Squad, in an article for Ink Magazine was quoted as saying this, Advertising is a price you pay for being on Remarkable.

Mick Spiers: 48:05

Oh, Wow. Oh, yeah. I like it, Man. That sits very well. All right, love it. And finally, Dr. Randy Ross is going to be a lot of people that are inspired by what you've said today. They're either looking to build an amazing culture, they're pursuing happiness. And we've got a key lesson there that maybe we should pursue it less and give more, they might be looking for a keynote speaker. How do people find you? If they would like to know more about you your work and your services?

Dr. Randy Ross: 48:33

I'm easy to find just google Dr. DR. drrandyross.com. My website is drrandyross.com. Just DR, No period, randyross.com, you can find out about what we do you find out about our messaging, find out about our books, and the services that we can provide for organizations as well.

Mick Spiers: 48:52

Brilliant. Randy, it's been such a pleasure having you on the show. Thank you for sharing your experience and your wisdom and insights with us today. We definitely feel rich of having this conversation. Thank you.

Dr. Randy Ross: 49:02

Thank you, Mick. And hey, if I could just drop one quick commercial, remarkable is coming out, as you mentioned earlier in his third edition, and it will be released in April of 2024. And so, if this podcast comes out before that you can pre order the book for yourself and your teams. It's available wherever good books are sold. And so I would encourage you if you're interested to dive a little deeper, go a little further into this conversation, then then preorder that book.

Mick Spiers: 49:28

Alright, one for Randy, and we'll put the links in the show notes as well so people can find it. Thank you so much. You've been listening to the leadership project. In the next episode, we'll be joined by Donna McGeorge. Donna is a global authority on productivity and the best selling author of multiple books including the one day refund, the first two hours, the 25 minute meeting, and the chat GPT revolution. We look forward to bringing this conversation to you early next week. Thank you for listening to The Leadership Project that mickspiers.com A huge call out to Faris Sedek for his video editing of all of our video content. And to all of the team at TLP. Joan Gozon, Gerald Calibo and my amazing wife Sei Spiers, I could not do this show without you. Don't forget to subscribe to The Leadership Project YouTube channel where we bring you interesting videos each and every week. And you can follow us on social particularly on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. Now in the meantime, please do take care. Look out for each other and join us on this journey as we learn together and lead together.